Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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