in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
