I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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