brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I accidentally burped into my bong.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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