I think I am morally bankrupt
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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