wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
