he was CRYING into my vagina
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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