How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
