Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
