How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize