Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
