There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The air was thick with penises
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
