He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I cut my penus on the lid.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We left the knife in your bed.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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