im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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