I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
