i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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