For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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