Your mouth is God's brothel.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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