College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
