what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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