you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
