mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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