Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Where is the hickey?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
