loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
