party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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