I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
