i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
