I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
