Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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