Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
someone threw a dead crab at me
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
