I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
