K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
