but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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