the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
