I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
