best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
