I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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