well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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