oh god the rape fog is back!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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