some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
