Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
