I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
