That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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