I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
the liver wants what the liver wants
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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