How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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