I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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