why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
