Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
