Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
honey bunches of taint.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
