Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
